Overprotectiveness isn't just about control. It's often about fear – fear of the past repeating itself. Fear of seeing your children hurt, just as you were hurt. Fear of not being enough. Sometimes, protectiveness isn't a choice — it's a reaction.
Many mothers have not been understood, counseled, or supported in their lives. Instead, they have been left to figure things out on their own. They have been told to “be strong.” They have received no emotional support. Now, they swear that their children will never feel that way.
Here's why we go from lack of support to overprotection: They do everything "just to be in." They jump in, even before the fight starts. They try to fix everything right away. It looks like love, but it's also fear.
This cycle can be hurtful. Overprotection can unintentionally block the growth process. Children have difficulty gaining self-confidence. They have difficulty making decisions. They fear failure, instead of learning from it.
But this isn't about blaming. It's about awareness. You're not failing — you're repeating what you never got. You're protecting your children the only way you know how. But now, it's time to do it differently. The healing process starts with awareness.
Give what you didn't get. Offer your children what you needed to get, not what your fear tells you to give. Believe in their abilities. Allow them to take age-appropriate risks. Support them, don't take their breath away. You can break your unhealthy cycle and be a great mother.
How to move from overprotection to empowerment
– Reflect on your childhood wounds.
– Ask yourself: “Is this about my children, or about my past?”
– Focus on counseling them, not controlling them.
– Use language that builds trust and confidence.
– Seek support. Healing is easier when you are not alone.
Sometimes we protect to avoid pain… ours and theirs. But healing doesn’t mean protecting at all costs – it means supporting. Awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle. Have you felt this in your parenting?
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