Psychological manipulation is a form of social behavior where one individual attempts to influence another in a covert and often harmful way, to gain control or personal gain. This behavior is often disguised as good manners, sweet words, or a facade of care and kindness – making it difficult to identify at first.

What makes a manipulator like that?

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, author of the book “Who's Pulling Your Strings?”, manipulators typically use techniques such as guilt, intimidation, or a sense of obligation to exert control over others. They are masters at detecting emotional weaknesses and exploiting them for personal gain.

The most common characteristics of a manipulative person are:

1. Constantly blaming others

2. Avoidance of responsibility

3. Victimizing yourself to gain sympathy

4. Using ignoring or emotional withdrawal as punishment

5. Changing facts and reality to create confusion

6. Gaslighting – The Silentest Weapon of Manipulation

One of the most dangerous forms of manipulation is what is known in psychology as “gaslighting” – a tactic where the manipulator makes others doubt their perception, memory, or reasoning. This type of manipulation can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and even depression.

A 2019 study from the University of Nevada highlights that people with narcissistic tendencies are more likely to use gaslighting as a means of maintaining control in relationships.

Why does a good person fall victim?

In fact, manipulators do not target weak individuals – on the contrary, they often target people who are empathetic, compassionate, and willing to help. These qualities are interpreted by the manipulator as “easily exploitable.”

Social psychologist Dr. George K. Simon points out that manipulators have an extraordinary ability to discern exactly what you want to hear – not because they care about your feelings, but because this is the shortest way to achieve their goal.

How to protect yourself?

1. Set clear emotional and communicative boundaries.

2. Trust your instincts – if something doesn't feel right, it usually isn't.

3. Keep a healthy distance from people who use guilt or fear to manipulate you.

4. Consult a professional if you feel emotionally exhausted from a relationship.

To conclude: 

Manipulation is not always obvious, but its effects are profound and often long-lasting. Learning to recognize this behavior does not mean suspecting everything, but protecting yourself intelligently. After all, not every smile is a reflection of a good soul.

Source: American Psychological Association (APA) – "Manipulative Behavior: The Psychological Meaning of Emotional Control", www.apa.org