Parents, on social media, write that raising a child is always about trying to find a balance between making them feel like they can do anything in life and on the other hand, constantly yelling at them: "You can't do that!"
Reading articles by well-known child psychologists, we can often come across suggestions to not use restrictions when raising a child, but we all understand that this is almost impossible.
But what things should you not forbid from children?
1. Crying and torn clothes.
Unfortunately for parents, the best way for a child to learn about the outside world is to walk around and explore the environment. It's no wonder that at these moments the child forgets how much the clothes cost, as well as the name of the designer whose name is written on the label, as they stain the clothing in the grass.
If you're worried about costs, maybe it's better to divide your children's clothes into a part for outings and a part for so-called formal events?
2. Eating fast food.
Let's be honest: almost every child loves it: all those salty foods, greasy pancakes and sweets that leave a sticky mass on the hands of children, who later go and touch everything around them. When parents forbid this type of food, it becomes a taboo in the child's mind and is eaten at the first opportunity.
Experts believe that parents should occasionally buy fast food for their children in order to make them understand that they can have a bag of chips at home without having to eat the whole bag at once. Furthermore, children will understand that there is no need to hide a bag of secretly eaten candy from their mother.
3. Spending personal money on useless things.
According to a study, modern children often spend money on outings with friends, digital devices or downloads, toys, clothes or shoes, and food or transportation fare. Many parents consider it foolish to spend money on useless things, so they often try to limit their child from making unnecessary purchases with the help of prohibitions/restrictions. However, parents should stop using this approach for 2 reasons:
a. First of all, once you give money to a child, it becomes their property. And only they can decide how they spend it. This is especially important in families where children earn money by doing chores around the house.
b. Secondly, it can be beneficial for a child to spend money and then regret it. Only in this way will they learn how to control their spending and distinguish between momentary desires and truly important needs.
4. Being careless.
Psychologists are seriously concerned that modern children are much more anxious, preoccupied and depressed than previous generations. The reason partly hides the fact that many children have to participate in something like a competition to gain certain knowledge. The school curriculum is becoming increasingly difficult and saturated, the number of trends is also increasing, and social media often makes children feel small compared to those around them.
This is why a modern child needs to do nothing. If there is free space in your child's schedule, don't rush to fill it with new tasks.
5. Skipping school days.
Sometimes we may even need to create free time for children artificially, especially when we notice that they are depressed or tense. Good academic performance is not the main thing, the main thing is the mental and psychological health of the child doomed to schoolwork. If you see that your child needs a break, give them an opportunity to calm down and listen to themselves: What do they want? What do they like to do? What are they dreaming about? Because sometimes it is difficult to find the time and energy to look for answers to such simple questions in the whirlwind of all the tasks that parents and children have.
6. Arguing with adults.
This type of prohibition can be dangerous when it comes to young children. It is important for them to know that not all adults are equally good and not all of their actions and requests need to be carried out immediately.
As for older children, it is more of an ethical issue. Unfortunately, wisdom and justice are becoming less and less dependent on a person's age. Sometimes an older person can be wrong about something or behave in a rude manner.
It is important to learn how to defend your opinion and personal boundaries in these situations. Adults, in turn, must teach their offspring to do this without arguments and insults.
If you feel like you've lost control of your children because they've started arguing with you too often, just remember that arguing is a battleground for two, not just one person. And set a positive example for your child by arguing in search of a compromise.
7. Choosing clothes.
Many parents' eyes start to glaze over when shopping with their children. And it's not just because of the prices, the huge range of choices, and the constant arguments, but also because they don't agree with the things their children like. Psychologists urge parents to remain calm. After all, you're not the one wearing those jeans.
It's better to let your child choose for themselves for 2 reasons:
a. By doing this, a child forms their "self." They work on their individuality and find their place in society.
b. The second reason is more pragmatic: the child will wear those clothes instead of hiding them in the depths of the closet.
8. Being disobedient.
Many parents use the term "disobedient child." This is a child who automatically obeys and does everything asked. This child will grow up being obedient and has no chance of standing up for themselves or their own interests. And believe us, others around them will be happy to take advantage of this trait.
9. Doing things that are for adults.
Modern psychologists say that children are starting to mature very quickly. Well, it's not surprising, especially in a world where they always hear, "You're not a child anymore."
Children will not grow up mentally by snapping their fingers. They may pretend to be mature, but they will not be ready for the difficulties that adolescence brings. If a child retains childhood interests and hobbies for a long time, there is no point in stopping them from doing these things. Let the child grow at his own pace.
10. They play video games.
Research has found that video games are more beneficial for a child's brain than watching TV. This is because games teach the brain to react quickly and read information. This skill will be useful for children when they grow up and live in a technologically advanced environment that is even more developed than the current one.
