How much do you need a relationship?
While romantic relationships are generally associated with a number of positive outcomes (Kansky, 2018), some people desperately seek a relationship while being blind to another equally important truth: Singleness can also provide a happy and fulfilling life. fulfilled, having many advantages.
Not knowing the advantages of being single, some people see singleness as a status to be avoided at all costs. This can be problematic.
The problem of fear of celibacy
Researchers have identified some common traits among people with a strong fear of being single. For example, these individuals are more likely to:
They think something is wrong with them if they don't have a partner
They worry that they may be single for the rest of their lives, or that it's 'too late' to find long-term love.
Have a rough demeanor
Studies show that people strongly motivated to avoid celibacy may engage in behaviors that are dangerous to their well-being.
Fear of being single increases desire for exes
Going back to a past love is not inherently problematic; however, preoccupation with an ex-partner limits mental space for other, potentially more positive thoughts. This can rob people of energy they could spend investing in their single experience. Being single offers tons of freedom to explore and develop new things, which can be hard to see if you're preoccupied with an ex.
Fear of being single lowers standards
When people want to avoid singleness at all costs, evidence suggests they are more likely to lower their standards and settle into less-than-satisfying relationships. The fear of being single becomes especially problematic if it encourages people to stay in relationships that are emotionally or physically abusive.
Fear of being single predicts desire for 'breakup sex'
Consistent with the idea that fear of being single drives desire for ex-partners, people - especially women - who have a strong fear of being single are more likely to want 'breakup sex'. Breakup sex can be perceived as an opportunity to rekindle a broken relationship or switch from "off" to "excitement" again. But rekindling a romance is likely to work best when the motivation isn't just to "not" be single.
