No matter how much time has passed or how many relationships you've had since then, it's hard to forget your first love. Falling in love with someone for the first time is a life-changing experience.
If you're wondering how to get over your first love—even years later—you're not alone.
According to relationship experts, there's a reason why your first love is so memorable. According to Dr. Holly Schiff, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist, not only opens up a world of excitement and possibilities for you, but it can also bring feelings of fear. "This experience is unlike anything you've felt before, which makes the person associated with this revelation a permanent fixture in your memory," Schiff tells Bustle. "Not to mention the chemical connections you experience when you're in love, like oxytocin."
Oxytocin is known as the "love hormone". It helps bind people closer together, it's what keeps some people monogamous. Simple things like hugging, kissing, and caressing can bond you chemically with your partner.
"You will carry these memories with you for the rest of your life, especially since this person was responsible for part of your personal growth," says Schiff. "First loves also usually represent your youth or a younger, simpler time."
Your brain is 'hardwired' to remember pleasant experiences
If the reason why your first love still holds a special place in your heart, you can thank your brain for that. According to Dr. Robin Buckley:
"Like a first gambling win or a drug addict's first high on heroin, we want to relive that 'first time' all over again," says Buckley. "That's one reason why it's hard to forget a first love. Our brain remembers the neurochemical 'experiences' associated with it and wants that experience back."
First love leaves an imprint on your brain
Many times people experience falling in love for the first time in their teens. As Joseph Bordelon, principal practitioner and owner of Christian Counseling Austin, tells Bustle, adolescence is a period in which our memory and processing powers are at their peak. Since your memory is much stronger during this period, you are much more likely to vividly remember the experience of falling in love.
